Can Two Alpha Personalities Get On?

We’ve written here before about how nice guys and gals typically come last when it comes to dating because of a lack of balance in power. If you don’t struggle to keep some measure of independence and equality, one of you essentially begins to run the relationship and makes all the decisions before getting bored and looking for more of a challenge. Some people are still happy to operate in this way, with one partner more dominant than the other, but there is still, in a successful relationship, an element of give and take.

So what happens when two forceful or determined personalities – the so-called alpha personalities if you like – meet and fall in love? The attraction is obvious, with both sides admiring the other’s drive and strength, their ability to make decisions and willingness to express opinions. The relationship can often also be seen as being stormy, with both dominant personalities vying for an advantage. It can be likened to being like two CEOs trying to run a business at the same time. It might seem like it is doomed to failure if one side or the other doesn’t give way, but it is a match that can work very well. All it takes is some discipline and some teamwork.

Rather than struggle and argue your way through a relationship where both partners are strong, here are some tips to help you get along:

  • Make a point of sharing your decisions in your relationship. By being inclusive you are both involved in making decisions so no one feels left out.
  • Be open about money and share your expenses as you go along. Money and its use carries a lot of weight in relationships, and you should never underestimate how it can reinforce your equality in how you discuss and use it.
  • Alternate the planning of your date nights between each other so that you can take turns surprising each other with your plans.
  • Solve any problems together, acting as a team. No one person is likely to be able to fix everything anyway, so approaching issues with your combined talents and experience will make things far easier to handle.
  • Listen to each other and make the effort to understand each other’s positions. Even if you don’t agree, you can acknowledge that you have heard their position and understood it before trying to express your own position. It’s a far healthier approach than trying to score points.

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This post was written by Amelie

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