It’s never easy to throw yourself into the dating game, but if you’re finding that it’s all turned into a bit of a grind, it might be worth stopping and taking stock. A lot of the mistakes we make when dating are really quite obvious to everyone else – but it’s a lot harder to put them in perspective when we look at ourselves.
So, here’s a quick list of common mistakes that we all make that can absolutely blow your dating chances out of the water. If any of these sound familiar, then perhaps it’s time to take a deep breath and think about how you can best change your approach to the dating game.
- Being too clingy: – we all do it from time to time, making a bad habit of being desperate about someone and chasing them too hard. Whether it’s trying to please them at all costs, change all your plans to fit in with them or spend all your time waiting around for them, in the end they end up taking you for granted and use you.
- Being negative: – when you’ve been looking for a while, it’s very easy to get too focussed on how difficult it is to meet someone, or that all the ‘good ones’ are taken. That bitterness just gets in the way and blinds you to the opportunities in front of you.
- Being dramatic: – if you live your life in a meltdown, getting hysterical and overreacting to everything then you’re going to keep on ending up alone. Relationships are about the two of you, so if you make it all about you then it’s exhausting and no one can keep up with that.
- Being attracted to the wrong people: – we all tend to date in patterns that are familiar. It’s when those patterns keep leading you back to people with the same behaviours that have hurt you in the past that you need to take action. Decide what you don’t want in your life and choose your dates accordingly to eliminate the problem drinkers, workaholics, players or other undesirables.
- Putting work before romance: – just be honest with yourself here. If you’re always working late or at the weekends and start standing people up or just plain missing events then you’re not really looking for a long term partner. Decide what your priorities are.
- Being stuck in the past: – don’t get me wrong, everyone has baggage, but we don’t all let it overwhelm us. Whether it’s past break-ups or unfortunate events in your childhood, you’re not going to make a successful go at a relationship if you’re always banging on about them. Live in the present as much as you can.
- Having a problem ex: – they’ll absolutely wreck any chance you have of a successful dating life. It doesn’t matter if your ex is still on the scene because they can’t let go or you’re just such good friends. They will scare your dates away before you blink unless they really love complications.
- Drinking too much: – definitely a tricky one this. Using alcohol to relax when meeting people is so common, but it’s not a great look to be ending up having too much and being completely the worse for wear. Not only that but it can end up with you in some decidedly dangerous situations or badly affecting your health. Just be aware.
Remember, dating is an exercise in selling yourself as a brand as much as anything else, so think about how you want to be seen and thought of and good luck in taking the time to show yourself in your best light.