So we all know that first dates are pretty stressful, what with trying to find that elusive balance between being impressive and not overwhelming your date. Some people liken the whole experience to being at a job interview. If you get the balance wrong, you end up either arguing within five minutes of starting out, or sitting staring at a phone, willing it to ring.
So what can you do to raise your chances of that second date appearing on the cards? Your first date, after all, should usually just be checking each other out to see if that onscreen chemistry will pan out and making sure they’re not in training to be the next Dexter Morgan. Here’s some quick pointers:
- Keep It Cool – while your date may be the most amazing physical specimen you’ve ever seen, saying so to him or her repeatedly will generally get them running for cover.
- Expect To Have Been Googled – if not, be surprised, but expect any problems or namesakes to appear in the conversation and be prepared to explain or talk about it. That readiness to talk about it rather than having a stunned look on your face will help immensely.
- Keep It Normal – this isn’t an exercise in how far you can push boundaries – your first date is about reassuring each other you’re a reasonable person.
- Let Them Know You’re Enjoying Yourself – it’s okay to smile and laugh when you’re having a good time, and everyone likes to be with people they can make happy.
- Ask Questions – it can be an easy mistake to lapse into talking about yourself through nervousness, so show you’re interested in your date with open questions.
- Don’t Be Grabby – everyone has their own comfort levels about touch and physical affection, so be warm but not all over them while you learn each other’s preferences.
- Light Topics Only – you really don’t want to be getting deep and serious while you’re still learning about each other. Keep it light and about the things you have in common like travel, books and favourite ways to waste time.
- Know What You Want – we’re not just talking about the date itself but about how you present your plan for life – someone with an ambition is more interesting than someone just drifting aimlessly.
- Maintain Your Dignity – at least as much that neither of you is embarrassed to think back on the evening. Fun is good, but too much silliness will sink your chances of that second date.
Well, good luck and above all else, have fun.