There’s something quite special about that rugged and brooding loner that just hits all the check boxes for some of us, and what’s not to love? Confidence and rebelliousness can just open so many doors in many people’s eyes – and of course when it comes down to it, it’s often just make believe.
What separates a bad boy from a real man is that a bad boy will tend to show their true colours when the going gets tough. If something needs to be faced up to on an emotional level, they’ll do their best to sidestep it or put it off. The reason for this is that while they do often have well developed emotional sides, it will tend to only extend as far as their own needs.
A bad boy can pull you into doing everything for them, and can even appear quite charming in the process. When their need for freedom is threatened though, you’ll see an almost over exaggerated flinch away that provides comedy gold for screen writers, but heartache if you’re on the receiving end of it. Someone in love with a bad boy will see that flinch as a rejection and try to chase after them, making the bad boy run even faster as they feel threatened.
If you can go into a relationship with a bad boy with your eyes open, it can be a huge rollercoaster ride. You can be aware of the quiet mouse behind all that noise and bluster and be forgiving and even supportive, but beware the trap.
When you love someone, you tend to put them on a pedestal. An equal relationship is where you both put each other on a pedestal, effectively bringing yourself both back into balance where your words and actions both have meaning for each other.
The problem is that a bad boy won’t be able to do that for you. It’s down to a lack of openness and maturity and it makes for enormous imbalances in the dynamics of the relationship. Some of us relish that challenge, others tire of it quickly.
If you’re chasing after a bad boy yourself, have a think about what you want from the relationship and be up front about it with them. You’ll either win big, or at least get out of the game before it’s too late.