Two different news items this week demonstrate the difficult lessons that some men still have to learn when it comes to social media and their love lives.
In one, a guy called Trevor was chatting with a girl he’d met through an online dating app about the weather when he sent an unsolicited naked picture of himself. When his chat partner complained, he called her a prude and tried unsuccessfully to calm her down, using language that only made matters worse. In retaliation, the girl tracked him down on Facebook and forwarded the entire chat session on to his mother as a protest, saying that “she should know how you perpetuate rape culture. I am sick of being treated like this.” There is no word yet on whether Trevor’s mum has responded.
Another man’s photo is currently being shared around Facebook by a woman allegedly furious at how he was publically bragging on a two hour train ride about his affairs. She took his photo and posted it online in the hope that it would find its way to the man’s wife. As of today, the picture has over a quarter of a million shares on the site. Whether the man had affairs or was boasting can’t be confirmed, but it’s a powerful demonstration of how social media is being used in a wider context when dating and relationships break down. With all the current concerns internationally about privacy and state monitoring of communication it is very easy to forget that we are all living in an increasingly interconnected world.
As a result, any indiscretions or unacceptable behaviour are far more likely to reach a far wider audience than many of us would otherwise anticipate. So what should we do about it? Should we become paranoid and resentful, or applaud people willing to challenge offensive attitudes?
The answer, as ever, really is that it is a reminder, should it be needed, to treat everyone with the respect that should be coming naturally whether face to face or on the other side of a computer screen.