As anyone can tell you, true love takes time and effort. The search for true love, even more so. Online dating can and does bring us into contact with some amazing people, it’s true, but what about the not-so-amazing people out there?
It’s sad to say that I have to put my hand up to having dated one or two people with one or more of the following characteristics. Sometimes it’s not immediately apparent, and you have to decide whether it’s something you can put up with. Other times it can be like being hit over the head, and then you should follow your instincts and get out of there. There’s a lot of people out there who all exhibit one or more of these at some point. The ones you need to avoid are the people who combine some or all of the below aspects. Think of this as your guide to identifying the psychos before it’s too late.
- The Controller – they’ll try to dominate everything you do, say and think. Before long you’re feeling constantly on guard because you’re really not why you’re walking on glass all the time. If they can manipulate a situation to their advantage, they will – so expect lots of arguments.
- The Jealous Date – If you find yourself having to put your phone on silent just so you can get a moment’s peace, you may be dating this person. They are absolutely jealous of absolutely everything, from family and pets to co-workers and ex-partners. They’re the type of person you’ll be re-passwording your phone against because you’ve found them going through it.
- Mr Jekyll/Hyde – the most sweet, kind and considerate person in public, while friends and family are around, they’ll have everyone falling for them. The minute you’re on your own, they’ll be picking apart those same friends and family to isolate you. If they’re doing that about people you know, what do you think they’re doing to you in the back of their minds?
- The Paranoid – closely related to the Jealous Date, the Paranoid will assume that every call to you is from someone you’re sleeping with. If you find yourself constantly having to prove yourself innocent to someone because you’ve not answered their phone call on the first ring, you’re dating The Paranoid.
- The Clinger – Low self-esteem is taken to new lengths in the search for reassurance with the Clinger. They will try to be with you all the time, for everything, clinging on hard to you and wanting to know that they are the only person who matters to you.
- The Flocker – this date worms their way into your friends and family and starts pumping them for information. This isn’t necessarily the worst thing in the world, but then they start trying to use them to argue their case for them, or to pry and find out if you’re dating anyone else, or where you’ll be at certain times.
- The Liar – it doesn’t matter about what, or why. It doesn’t matter if it’s about a big matter or a small matter. This person does nothing but lie. They just can’t help telling stories, and changing the details all the time. Maybe it’s a call for attention or a feeling of inadequacy, but it’s a huge sign that should be saying “Run Away!”
- The Suicide Threatener – the sort of person who threatens to end it all, or proclaims loud and often that your leaving them, will destroy them. Even after you’ve moved on, the Threatener will tend to follow after you, trying to destroy any chance of your being happy or moving on.
Remember, your safety and happiness lies ultimately in your own hands. So take care, be aware of the warning signs, and don’t surrender you heart too soon. Dating is meant to be fun, so make sure that it is.