There’s a lot of people who, if you ask them about casual dating, will tell you that it’s just a way of looking for a cheap thrill. There can be an expectation of sex being pretty much laid out on a plate and that casual daters embody everything that’s wrong with the dating scene.
There’s also an awful lot of people who turn to it because they just don’t have the time for a committed relationship but still want to meet people and have fun. For them, the whole point of a casual dating approach is to be able to enjoy getting out and about without there being any expectations on either side.
The real problems come when communication breaks down, and one person reads more into it than the other. No one likes the feeling of being led on, especially when it comes to dating. It’s therefore absolutely imperative that you lay down some simple ground rules.
Be clear with the people you date about what you want and what you are looking for. If you’re not looking for any physical intimacy right now, then say so. If they then don’t want to go on a date, well at least you’ve saved yourself an awkward evening and can look for someone a bit more clued in.
Don’t be afraid of dating several people at the same time – as long as you’re open about it. There’s a couple of great reasons for this. Firstly it helps stop those awkward scenes if they see you out on a date with someone else. Secondly it actually helps to reinforce what you’ve said about the date you go on with them being casual.
Keeping things mixed up is another great way to keep things from getting too heavy. Rotating your dating partners helps slow things down anyway if you are seeing several people, but don’t be afraid to make dates of going shopping or having some lunch. Keep it public and at events or venues that don’t readily lend themselves to intimacy.
Above all else, be honest with yourself. If you do find yourself falling for someone, well then it’s time to have a conversation, but otherwise keep an eye out for other people getting possessive or jealous and don’t be afraid to break things off.
Casual dating isn’t for everyone, but it also doesn’t have to be something to be looked down. Get out there and have some fun just having… fun!