Have you ever noticed how things can pass you by for ages, and then suddenly a crop of coincidences will keep you hearing the same song, or seeing the same model of car or seeing the same time on the clock each day? In part it’s down to our ability to recognise patterns, and it’s just as applicable with dating as anything else. I’ve heard from a number of people who have been setting up their dating profiles, and then gone out for dinner and met someone.
This seems to happen whenever people start to seriously consider online dating – potential dates just start popping up like meerkats out of the ground. It can feel like suddenly your mojo is back and you hadn’t even realised it was missing! Your love life can go from being completely barren to overwhelming lush and full of possibilities.
One reason for this might be that online dating suddenly reminds you just how much that attention from the opposite sex makes you feel alive. We can all let ourselves fall into a rut where we don’t look around us, and that can make us not notice the opportunities available, like walking into a shop and being so fixed on what you want that you walk past all sorts of other things and don’t even notice them.
In effect, we walk through our lives in that case with huge metaphorical signs on our heads saying “Go Away” or “I’m not interested”, and our body language is read loud and clear by the men and women around us. Then, when we begin to consider the possibilities with online dating, and make that decision to be open to meeting new partners, those signs evaporate. We start sending out different vibes because we have changed our thinking – and that’s when we get our mojo back.
A practical part of this occurs when we write our profiles, because it forces us to have a good think about our priorities and be realistic about what we want from a relationship. The unrealistic expectation is to find someone who ticks every single box on the wish list, but by realising what we find most important on that wish list, we start to recognise people who might otherwise have been completely overlooked.
So, why not use this opportunity if things are a little quiet, to revisit your profile and have a good look at what messages you are giving out – and see if you don’t start reigniting your own fire.