Dating is fantastic, it’s fun and if you’re doing it right it’s just a little bit scary – because let’s face it, dating is not exactly the most normal thing in the world, is it? Let’s stop a moment and ask ourselves “What is dating?”
Well, my take on it is this. Dating is meeting someone and getting to know them. This then leads to you both agreeing to meet somewhere at a specific time and place with both of you hoping to get to know each other even better and maybe even (hopefully) have some fun. It’s all very socially contrived when you stop to think about it – especially when our biology is telling us to throw caution to the winds and grab them.
But that whole social bit is important. We’ve all kissed more than our fair share of frogs along the way, and it’s usually because we’ve not thought about what we actually want. Even worse, we’ve seen someone who’s got us all hot and bothered but they don’t know what they want, leaving everyone up in the air, annoyed and worst of all unsatisfied. Fortunately, that’s where online dating has a few advantages because you can sidestep some of those initial lily pads.
The greatest thing you can do to help yourself find someone who isn’t going to leave you high and dry is to start by thinking about what you want. This is important for you and for any potential partners so you know what your boundaries are. Are you looking for a life partner or a one night stand? Are you looking for someone to show you the ropes, or someone to take under your wing? Are you happy to mix it up a bit, or are you monogamous at heart?
If you think about what you’re looking for before sending out those invites and whispers, you can start to visualise the type of person and their responses that you’re looking for. It all sounds a bit clinical, but experience shows that if you aren’t clear about what you want, those confused signals will do nothing but muddy the waters.
You’ll certainly meet lots of people, sometimes quite briefly, but unless you’re sure of yourself it’s going to be an unsatisfactory experience – again.
Most of the time, when we’re dealing with people who don’t know what they want, it’s because we’re being vague ourselves. People generally try to read potential partners by their words and actions. Working out for yourself what you want will therefore help them in many ways.
Happy Hunting!